Whether it is the end of a friendship, business partnership or any other type of relationship, the reality of separation is a difficult process. In my last post, I mentioned my intention to end my ‘real life’ D/s relationship. Our expectations and our journey into BDSM were no longer compatible. So, on his last visit, I decided to meet with him in person to break the news.
It may seem unnecessarily cruel to ask a submissive (or anyone) to travel interstate in order to end a relationship. However, any other method would have been viewed as part of the game and prevented closure.
On a cool, but sunny Autumn day, I invited my soon-to-be former submissive to coffee in a (relatively) private hotel cafe. Being out of character, he immediately sensed I had something planned. I won’t get into all the details, but what ensued was a lot of pleading, bargaining and crying on his part. On my end, I did my best to keep my tone level and spoke to him as an equal. Inside, I was struggling to maintain control of my temper. Dealing with an adult male who regresses to infancy when he doesn’t get what he wants is rather frustrating. I suppose this is why most ‘dommes’ prefer only pro-domination’. Nevertheless, by the end we reached some sort of understanding.
This was not the official ‘end’ of our relationship/correspondence. For the next couple of weeks, he continued to write messages of worship and send short video clips in an attempt to rekindle our interaction. My only reply was this morning, short and sweet; Please do not contact me anymore. Good luck in your endeavours. This submissive is now blocked on all digital avenues of contact.
I have now come to understand that as my submissive, his emotional connection with me was far greater than I thought. We only started to explore BDSM after a vanilla style fling. I continued to interact with him only as a fling. As his first ‘lifestyle domme’, his feelings for me changed as we delved further.
Perhaps this is a major difference in the male and female experience. My affection and consideration of him as a long term partner may have developed only after his complete submission; almost a TPE, if you will. His body meant nothing to me, but his mind and his actions were important. To him, each physical/sexual interaction increased his infatuation.
Regardless of his desire to ‘improve’, each little instance of ‘topping from the bottom’ only decreased my interest and most likely fueled his desire to explore other areas of BDSM. Areas, I have no intention of visiting and render us incompatible. It is not all doom and gloom. The end of one interaction leaves room for new and exciting adventures. He now has the opportunity to find someone who may switch and I have come away with many interesting stories.
Following this experience, I do not intend to play as a lifestyle domme again. I may meet someone with the intention to pursue a long term vanilla relationship and if he decides to submit, it will heighten our experience. For now, I’ll continue on with my pro-domme fun.