Our hearts are on a timer, like sands through an hourglass. There is an infatuation phase, a sense of growing comfortable and eventually a little bored. The love, just like the sand filters away until you feel a desire to find that new and exciting boost to turn over the hourglass. Many of us continue to search for that elusive parter who will turn the hourglass on its side, thereby keeping that love strong indefinitely. Some hold on to a partner who continues to make cracks in the glass, thinking that nothing better will ever come along.
In the vanilla dating scene, we generally accept that we will encounter many potential partners before finding the one to engage with for a period of time. BDSM is a different story. The taboo surrounding various practices forces those searching for this style of relationship into the underground and significantly reduces the pool of potential partners.
That is why ending a D/s relationship is a much more involved process than breaking up with a vanilla boyfriend. While a typical ‘boyfriend’ would feel the rejection and disappointment, the playpet is beside himself (some) in fear of never finding another mistress.
Still, the constant ‘topping from the bottom’ resulted in my decision to end my relationship with my RL submissive. What started as a casual (vanilla) fling, resulted in a full blown D/s interaction after an accidental foot fetish discovery. Fast forward to what has became a partial long distance relationship (D/s) and a lot of experimentation. From what I have been told, I am his first RL domme and together we stretched a few limits and discovered new fetishes along the way. Now, it is time to cut him loose. He may be better off playing with a switch (I refuse to do so) or someone more accommodating to his fetishes.
Perhaps he will read this post and know my thoughts before I meet with him. I do believe a D/s break up is a little more involved than a vanilla break up and should be executed in person. However, this submissive has become rather neglectful of his expectations and I expect quite a few objections. The challenge will be to use the right wording and intonation to give a sense of closure, rather than making it appear as another sadistic D/s game.
Wish me the best, kinksters!