The Definition of Play


A few years ago, the concept of making every element of life into a game was popularised as  method of improving human output. Businesses used gamification to increase productivity or drive up sales.  This was achieved through non tangible rewards such as badges achieved on a smartphone app and the idea of ‘levelling up’.

Aside from industrial purposes, gamification was a means to keep us present and improve our experience of life.  Like anything that focuses on immediate sensations of reward, compliance to the method is often short lived.

I write on the idea of games, as it is such an important tool used for many BDSM interactions.  In theory, a game is defined as activity bounded by  a set of guidelines and limitations.  If one does not follow the rules, the game is invalid.  Take, for instance the childhood game of ‘hide and seek’.  The idea is to hide, while the person who is ‘in’ counts to a pre designated number with their eyes closed or their back turned.  Success is when all hidden players are found.

It is highly possible to cheat or modify the rules.  However, without remaining within the general boundaries it would no longer be valid.  You cannot play ‘Hide and Seek’ if everyone hides.  The new game is now simply ‘hide’.

My fascination of this idea within a BDSM context is due to the number of messages I receive from submissives who claim they have no limits.  My reply is that as a Pro (paid) Domme, I have a set of expectations including a price of interaction.  Funnily enough, most of these people decide that they are not interested in making a payment, although they continue to maintain they have ‘no limits’.  Technically, that would mean a submissive is willing to not only pay, but perform any task.  What a lovely world of kind world of positive change that would create.  My dream submissive would cater to my every whim while working proactively to improve hate lives of the poor and those with physical and mental illnesses.

The reality check is that these perverts just want their penises satisfied in ‘any’ way without contributing towards the time and effort I may make and with the expectation that I am some sort of sexually fuelled mind reader.

My own once RL submissive now turned online plaything has started to inaccurately indicate that he is letting go of ‘limits’.  For minor transgressions, I would punish him accordingly and relish in his pain.  This obvious failure to acknowledge a point I have made with him from the start of our D/s interaction has awarded him a true punishment representative of his open stupidity.  A planned RL play trip I had arranged is now cancelled.

Theories of play in the human experience continue to change and evolve.  Boredom, itself has a significant role in creativity and the development of new games.  With rapidly changing technology, we are able to develop interesting experiences within sexual play and BDSM.

As always, I am pleasantly surprised with each discovery.  For all the silly ‘submissives’ I encounter, I am grateful for the presences of a few gems.  I look forward to many enlightening interactions to come.


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