The numbers game and the exchange of power releases a special feeling of satisfaction within my body. The sensation arises from the my lower abdomen and rises up my spine to climax at the top of my head. Neurotransmitters in the reward centre of my brain are released and the knowledge that I am taking even more control over another person is intoxicatingly pleasurable.
Recently, another sensation awakened within me. I have a loyal finsub who I have interacted with for some time now. The other night, I found myself casually browsing an account he regularly contributes to. I started daydreaming about the wallet drain and receiving large tributes when the tingle of arousal crept upon me.
My initial confusion was mixed with a feeling of guilt before I allowed myself to embrace the sensation. From a social context, the fixation on money or on sex is often considered an evil. The combination of the two is a sin magnified tenfold. I allowed the limiting thought a full minute before I decided that my fetish is a perfect reason for my own and very personal sexual arousal.
With that, I had another look at this account, lay myself back on my bed and enjoyed the daydream of wallet drain and ownership of another human being. All the while, enjoying the release of self stimulated sexual pleasure.
Whether or not some believe that findom based relationships are a legitimate BDSM interaction, one cannot deny that sexual arousal at the thought of an object, person or situation is considered a fetish.
My own role as a findomme and exploration of the D/s world continues to evolve and stimulate more curiosity. There is still much for me to discover and each revelation brings a shift in my own perceptions and methods of play.
Until the next enticing drain….