The jerk of instruction (JOI) is a favourite among online kinksters. I remember an ex boyfriend asking me to talk dirty during intimate play. “Tell me what you would do to my c*ck”. My face flushed with embarrassment at the idea and my brain numb of ideas, I only responded “Um…touch it, I guess”.
Thinking on those naive times, I decided to explore the idea of JOI. With a little trial and error and experience, my imagination has expanded. While I personally don’t get any sort of kick out of describing how I would please another sexually, I at least know many possible play scenarios.
What I do enjoy is humiliation, sissification, c*ck and ball torture and the tease when a submissive is desperate to reach his satisfaction. “Oh, you are a desperate whore. Why don’t you bring it out for me to laugh at but don’t you dare touch it any further!”. Knowing I not only have the power to dictate the how, when, where and even if someone will stimulate themselves is addictive. Add to that, I tell my submissive exactly what I think of their ‘parts’. The freedom of speech is also a mark of power. Gone are the days I have to pretend that the most aesthetically unappealing part of the human anatomy is alluring.
While blunt honestly is a fun feature of this type of play, it is important to remember there are rules to adhere to. A dominant must be aware of any boundaries. It is one thing to engage in BDSM play, it is another to hurt someone’s feelings for the long run. Add to that, there is no one size fits all. Most fetishists have one particular itch they require scratched in order to submit. Fail to take this into account and the fun does not have a chance to begin.
For a submissive, it is vital to remain open with his/her Master/Mistress, disclose any and all ‘no go zones’ and appreciate the time devoted to the interaction.
As a relatively recent kinkster, there is still a lot to learn and I am enjoying every moment of this exploration. Give it a try, you know you want to!