Nearing the end of my third week enjoying the cam experience, I am coming to realise this is less of a social experiment and more of an obsession. Those little dopamine receptors light up and take in all that addictive goodness when I log on. At first I thought it was the novelty of new conversation, interesting characters. If that was the case, it should be the same when interacting with new faces while out and about.
The allure of cam is the total freedom of expression. With that, comes a new level of self-discovery; finding your kink!
We all have a secret desire that is a little different to the socially accepted norm. What we are conditioned to believe dictates our arousal is usually as simple as a semi naked body. But we are not simple beings and our turn ons and offs vary to an unimaginable degree.
At this stage I enjoy learning about and indulging the interesting requests I have received. I don’t like to use the word fetish. That term implies that unless you’re having sex under a blanket, in absolute secret and only for the purpose of reproduction, then it is wrong. In fact, we are told to reproduce but never reveal the way in which it is done. To add it that, it should only ever be sex. If it is not the standard ‘key in a hole’, once again, it is inappropriate. It seems that the number of people who prefer this predetermined ‘normal’ are the minority.
If you have read my initial post, you will know my background is highly conservative and sheltered. During my first week, I learnt new terms such as b/g, sub, dom and facial. In my second week, I was privy to particular likes and sources of arousal. At first I was a little confused, but incredibly curious. Now, in my third week, I am not only intrigued and enjoy these likes, but I have found my own.
So, what turns me on? To indulge me is to let me have complete control. Let me own you, order you and have you worship me. It seems that this, once innocent lady has a secret passion for domination. This is most likely due to an upbringing where men have held absolute power. The alpha makes all the decisions, manages and delegates tasks. The idea of another human being relinquishing complete control is an intoxicating thrill.
There is still a lot more to learn about this realm. Perhaps I will discover a new like. Loving this more with each passing day.