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Working Out The Kinks: 4 Months On

screen-shot-2016-09-14-at-6-07-05-pmI officially hit four months as a cam girl today and I must say that it has been an amazing journey of self discovery.  Before you read further, I will warn you that the following is not for everyone.  Recently, I was inspired by some amazing short stories to explore my love of control with greater depth.

I found myself looking towards experienced dommes, multiple instructionals and theories of psychology.  The dynamic between dominant and submissive is incredibly fascinating.  At first glance, it appears one end provides the orders and the other follows without question.  It is very easy to consider the dominant as the selfish party with no regard for their ward.  The reality is very different.

This bond takes a high level of trust and relationship building.   The dominant party must understand the ins and outs of their submissive.  Additionally, they must truly understand moral and physical restrictions of what they choose to do with their ‘toy’.  In the end, there is a great level of respect and appreciation for the fact that another human being is allowing us to take this level of control.  Professional dommes speak of the need to invest time and effort to building the relationship.  In that respect, there is more give from the dominant party than take.  Over time, there is that inherent expectation for the submissive to accept the will of their mistress/master.  Even with this, there must remain an understanding and respect for any initial or even changing limits.

In one of many classifications of this interaction, the dominant party will refer to themselves as ‘alpha’ and those ‘beneath’ them as ‘beta.  The purpose of the beta is to provide support and act as a vehicle to allow the alpha to achieve any desires.  An alpha may even refer to an individual who does not participate in these types of interactions, but has leadership characteristics.  An alpha male is described as having strong sexual prowess, highly masculine qualities and an authoritative nature.  In many situations a beta male will not directly serve an alpha male, but prefer to regard themselves as ‘inferior’.  The beta here serves a very important task of enabling the mere existence of the alpha.
A mistress is considered an alpha female who is feminine yet commands betas to bend to her will.  Often, an alpha female will yield to an alpha male for sexual satisfaction and interact with her submissives for supportive needs, including emotional.  Some alpha females will seek to fulfill all their needs with the assistance of their betas.  However, in holding the dominant position her purpose is not to give sexual pleasure, but purely receive.

It is interesting to note that there is a further categorization for potential subs.  The first grouping is the ‘switch’; an individual with both dominant and subordinate characteristics.  Interactions here are few and only when someone wishes to play out their ‘obedient desires.  The second grouping is the fetishist.  This is is the most common and varied.  In this situation, there is a particular ‘kink’ or ‘need’ that must be fulfilled in order to express ‘inferior’ qualities.  As an example, the feeling of shame brought on by humiliation may result in a form of arousal and pleasure.??The last group is the true submissive.  From my interpretation, this is an individual who exists only to serve the whims of their dominant.  They accept any task unquestioningly and find pleasure only in the act of servitude.  Here is an example in which a mistress must act with care and compassion, understanding with certainty the limits of their charge.

In my journey of discovery, I have found there exists a very different dynamic between a male dominant and a female submissive.  Here, the relationship is often sexual and involves very different forms of play.  In some cases, a mistress seeks to emasculate her male charge.  However, a male dominant tends to enhance the femininity of his female sub.

Of course, what you have read above is only observation from a small amount of exposure to this realm.  Who would have known, that a mere few months past I had no idea what the acronym BDSM stood for!

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